Text me L8er
by Sweet June Rain
Summary: A series of drabbles, following the lives of a group of friends, via text messages. It's a BABE :3 AU, OOC, OCs, and just plain craziness enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Whooo, it's been a while since I've posted anything on here! Sorry folks, I've been in the process of applying to study abroad for a full year, which, FYI, I'll be be doing in August...YAY! I also had to deal with Midterms and the fact that as a TA (Teacher's Assistant) and as an RA (Research Assistant) I am basically my professor's slave.

Anywho...on a brighter note; my old laptop has been fixed! YAY! Which means some old stories are going to get updated! But for now, to get back into the swing of writing, a drabble of some sorts! Enjoy!

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Summary: A bunch of drabbles about the lives of some people, via text messages!

Disclaimer: Not mine, not making any money, it's just for fun, jeez, okay, bye!

Warnings will be posted in each chapter!

Enjoy!

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Warning: Language

_Vacation_

_~BigD Has sent out a group Message to the following recipients: Babe, LadyH and RicoSuave~ _

BigD: Hello my minions; I hope you all aren't busy, we have things to talk about!

LadyH: Did you just call me a minion?! I hope you were talking to the other two you sent this text to.

Babe: I hope he isn't referring to me as his minion, unless he's talking about the cute yellow ones off that movie we saw, right Carlos?

RicoSuave: Babe, don't remind me about that movie; Heidi were you playing with my phone again? Why am I RicoSuave now?

LadyH: It suits you, Carlos, right Stephanie?

Babe: I don't know, I like hung better, Carlos come upstairs and give me your phone, so I can change your name to HungStallion!

RicoSuave: Babe...

BigD: Please, let's get back on track, minions, we need to start planning our annual vacation, so, any places we want to go to?

LadyH: OH! Let's go to Puerto Rico and get fat off that tasty food.

RicoSuave: No, we're not going somewhere just to get fat, you can do that in your bed, I say we go to Aruba, that's a nice spot and all that pristine beach, where I can lay my Babe down and ravish her.

BigD: TMI man! I don't want to hear about that….shit, I say we go tour some of Europe, spring is a good time to tour Holland.

LadyH: No way, we toured Europe last year, let's go to Asia, better yet, let's go to Japan!

RicoSuave: You live there, you're there right now, you just don't want to go anywhere, because you're lazy.

LadyH: I'll have you know, there are parts of Japan that I haven't had the chance to see yet, so stuff it, Rico!

BigD: So it's settled then, Europe for us!

RicoSuave: No, we're going to Aruba

LadyH: Nope, we're going to Puerto Rico!

Babe: How about Disneyworld?!

LadyH: …

BigD: ….

RicoSuave: Do what now?

Babe: Disneyworld, we can stay in a huge suite, and see Mickey Mouse, and ride those cute little tea cup rides and…..FLY IN DUMBO! YES YES LET'S GO TO DISNEYWORLD!

LadyH: WTF, Rico, has she been hit in the head recently by a skip?

Babe: Oh Heidi….if we go to Disneyworld, we can get that package that has a food pass, and all the food and snacks you can eat will be free…

LadyH….Even the funnel cakes and turkey legs…?

Babe: Especially the funnel cakes and turkey legs and the yummy Churros…

LadyH: Well fuck me two ways to Friday: let's go to Disneyworld!

RicoSuave: Now wait, you two, we are too old to be doing that Disneyworld adventure, I say we go to Aruba.

Babe: Oh Carlos, sweetums, there're several things we can do as well, did you know that Disneyworld created a beach just for adults, and you can pay to have your own area of private beach, ut'll be like Aruba, but better because Mickey Mouse will come serving us booze in coconuts!

RicoSuave: …That does sound nice, besides, wherever you want to go, Babe, I'm happy with the choice.

Babe: I love you so much Carlos!

BigD: No way, we are not going to Disneyworld, first off, we are too old, second off, that place sucks and third off I hate giant rats!

LadyH: Oh, Diesel, don't say that, tell you what, if you say yes to Disneyworld then we'll do that thing you like, you know, whipped cream, the handcuffs, the works.

RicoSuave: Did you just bribed your husband with kinky sex?

BigD: Well fuck me two ways to Friday: Let's go to Disneyworld!

LadyH: I did :3

Babe: Good, because we were going to go either way, I used our vacation money to buy the week long ultra-deluxe presidential getaway, we're sleeping in the castle, yay! 8D

BigD: Next year, we're going to fucking Europe.

RicoSuave: No, we're going to Aruba.

LadyH: Is doesn't even matter anymore, now, let's end this train wreck so I can get some food in me, Diesel, let's go out and get Kobe Beef!

Babe: I can't wait to tell Lula that I'm going to Disneyworld, Woohoo!

BigD: Wait a minute, did Stephanie just say she went behind our backs and booked the trip to Disneyworld?!

RicoSuave: She did, your wife is rubbing off on her….

LadyH: ATM, I couldn't be any more prouder of my Stephanie, good girl.

Babe: Thanks Heidi! 8D

RicoSuave: This is going to be one hell of a vacation…

_~End of Message~_

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_So, what do you think, nothing too big, it's a light and funny read! Reviews are loved I love your feedback! ;3_


	2. Ain't Nobody Got Time For That

_Chapter 2, enjoy! Thank you for the lovely reviews, though one fool was trying to hook up with me. No way, Ain't nobody got time for that._

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_Warning: Language _

_Disclaimer in Chapter 1_

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_Ain't nobody got time for this_

_Babe sent a group message to the following recipients: LadyH and BigD_

Babe: I hope U 2 aren't busy….

BigD: We kind of are…I'm living up my nickname

LadyH: BigD indeed! Hurry up Stephanie, you interrupted good sex time!

Babe: Gross! WTF Heidi, TMI!

BigD: Well, you asked….

LadyH: Alright Stephanie, gross factor aside, what's shaking?

Babe: Oh, well, in two weeks, it'll be Carlos B-Day and I-

BigD: Oh ho, no, no way, I'm not helping you with that party, no way, no how, go kick rocks with that idea!

LadyH: I'm with Diesel on this one, I'll have to pass with planning this party!

Babe: Oh come on! Why won't U 2 help me! I asked everyone else, and they said the same thing too! Tank went one step further and told me that he had to go to Siberia!

BigD: Smart man, we should use that excuse when your parents invite us over, Kitten.

LadyH: STFU, Diesel, you know I'm right on top of you, you say something else like that and I'll choke you out!

BigD: Oh….kinky….Me Gusta ;3

Babe: OKAY! U 2! Stop it with the BDSM, please tell me why you won't help your bestest friend out… -insert big puppy eyes-

BigD: Well, Carlos is sort of a drama king with his B-day, remember last year, his 34th B-day, when you brought out the cake with all those candles on it, he holed himself up in the bathroom and wouldn't come out the rest of the party.

LadyH: Face it, Stephanie, your husband doesn't like the fact that he's getting older, once he finds that first grey hair, it's only going to go downhill from there. Why remind him of the inevitable with a b-day party he's not going to like?

Babe: Look, I don't see why that's going to stop you two from rubbing that fact in his face, hell, I bet you two get your jollies off of that kind of stuff.

BigD: He knows where we live, he knows our daily habits, and plus, he can pop in and out, just like Heidi and I, have you ever been in one of his chokeholds, no, I bet you've never had to suffer one of them, they are a killer, he made me piss my pants once, rest my case, he's going to kill us, once he finds out who helped you with the party. Now, we like pointing out shit like that, but, ain't nobody got time for a hospital stay.

LadyH: Amen, brother! Wait, Carlos made you pee your pants...LOL XD I'm so weak right now –dead-

BigD Heidi, come on now, stop laughing at me!

LadyH: -Is so weak- I can't even….-Dying from laughter-

Babe: Look, shut up you two, what if I pay you to help me out, name your price and I'll see what I can do…

BigD: Oh ho! Well, there's this recurring dream I have about you and Heidi in maid's outfits, maybe if you two-

LadyH: I'm right on top of you, remember that…

Babe: Carlos will kill you dead, and then I will!

BigD: -Challenge Accepted-

LadyH: -Sigh- look, we'll help you out, no price, but, we'll put all of the blame on you, if it comes out that we helped you, so what's the theme of the party?

Babe: Well, I was thinking an over the hill party, he's 35, almost 40, it seems fitting, right?

BigD: Aww hell, Heidi, go check and see if the special hospital has an empty room for us, Stephanie here is going to get us both maimed.

Babe: What's wrong with that theme, it's satire, right?

LadyH: Do you even know what satire means, Stephanie. She's going to get us killed, Diesel, let's go book a plane to Siberia, that way, it'll be a while before Carlos finds us.

Babe: Thanks U guys, come over at around 6 tonight, we'll go over the details! See ya soon. Oh yeah…Diesel, about Carlos making you pee your pants..lol, I'm telling everyone!

BigD: Go on and blab, and I'll be sure that Carlos knows about your surprise party!

Babe….Damn it….bye.

BigD: Smell ya later…Heidi? What are you doing?

LadyH: -Is dead from laughing too much- my sides, I think I'm going to pee my pants..XD!

LadyH:... ._." Oops

BigD: Heidi, I hope that's warm tea you're spilling down my sides...

LadyH: Sure…let's say that, welp, I could use a quick shower! Heh-heh..

BigD: D8! HEIDI GROSS! I know ain't nobody got time for _this_!

_~End of message~_

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_Review please, your feedback is AWESOME! 8D  
_


	3. Guy Talk

_Chapter 3, Enjoy_

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_Warning: Nothing at the moment_

_Disclaimer in chapter 1!_

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_Guy Talk_

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_~BigD Sent a Message to the following recipient: Ranger_

BigD: Oi, did you see the newcomer?

Ranger: Yes, Diesel, I did…

BigD: Dude, she is not ugly, not ugly at all, in fact, she is quite the opposite, holy shit, I would do things with her!

Ranger: You don't even know her name, do you?

BigD: Not the point, point is, she's sexy and I want to do things with her, end of story.

Ranger: She's a Suit, she's practically untouchable!

BigD: Challenge Considered, so what if she's nearly untouchable, I have to have her.

Ranger:Uh…I don't think so, do you see the way she's looking at you, like you're the scum beneath her shoes? Diesel, I think you're freaking her out, stop looking at her like that.

BigD: So sexy…..I'm going to wink at her.

Ranger: She looks like she wants to strangle you now, dude, that wink was kind of creepy, who taught you how to wink?

BigD: That's my sexy wink, I can't believe it didn't work on-HEIDI! That's her name, her name is Heidi, man that's such a pretty name for her.

Ranger: ….Okay…well, the meetings over with, want to go out and get some beers, I have a feeling you're going to need them tonight."

BigD: For what? I'm going to ask Heidi out on a date, and possibly get her number, you go out by yourself, I'm going to bag me an angel!

Ranger: I'll save a barstool for you, when you come back defeated.

BigD: AH HA, I won't need it! I shall be victorious! Catch you on the flipside, I'll tell you all about the sex we'll have tonight ;D

Ranger: I don't want to hear about the sex you won't have, we'll just get drunk and not worry about women.

BigD: That's what you think, smell ya later, Carlos my man, destiny awaits!

Ranger: Oh dear…

_~End of Message~_

_BigD sent a Message to the following recipient: Ranger_

BigD: So….uh…what bar are you habituating tonight?

Ranger: Rejected, I see.

BigD: Look man, I don't want to talk about it, okay….it's so humiliating, it's…I just don't want to say….D;

Ranger: I'm at the Spitting Viper, next to the National Mall, I saved a seat for you too.

BigD:….she humiliated me, in front of the other suits too, not only that, she suspended me for three weeks, no pay, which is alright, but…damn it! She is so feisty too…turns me on…

Ranger: Uh…you still want to go after this woman?

BigD: I do, this is only a minor setback, on an odd note, she asked me if I knew you, and I said yes. Heidi told me to tell you hi.

Ranger: Uh…hi?

BigD: Okay, I'll see you in a bit!

_~End Message~_

_Ranger has received an incoming message from: LadyH_

LadyH: Is this Carlos Manoso?

Ranger: Yes….and who is this?

LadyH: Um…it's Heidi, the new Suit, I just wanted to say hello to you, I didn't know if your friend told you that I said that last week.

Ranger: Oh he did, he also told me that you humiliated him as well.

LadyH: If he hadn't had smacked my bottom, he wouldn't have been suspended…

Ranger: He didn't tell me that part of the story…that dog, I'll kick his ass, don't worry.

LadyH: Thank you, Carlos. I do have a question for you….though…

Ranger: Oh boy…

_Ranger has received a message from BigD_

BigD: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WENT OUT ON A DATE WITH MY DREAM WOMAN! I WANT DETALS, IF I CAN'T GET HER, I'LL LIVE THROUGH YOU!

Ranger: Calm down, we're only friends, she needed help with a part of the computer system for our unit, so I helped her out, trust me, I would have told you if I was sleeping with her.

BigD: Wait, what does that mean?! BL

Ranger: It means what I wrote down…can't help it, she's attractive…

BigD: FML…..

Ranger: No Dice, I don't like men like that.

BigD: ;s;

_~End Message~_

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_Reviews are loved, Your feedback rocks! 8D_


	4. Glitter

_Chapter 4, enjoy_

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_Warning: Language_

_Disclaimer in chapter 1!_

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_Glitter_

_SantosLovin sent out a group message to the following recipients: BigD and IMABANANA_

SantosLovin: Hey, Ranger, nice name, better than RicoSuave

BigD: I was about to say the same thing, Les, who had your phone last?

IMABANANA: Who do you think? Tell your wife, Diesel, that if she changes my name again, I'll hurt her.

BigD: She told me to tell you that your idle threats won't work on her. She won't be so easily cowed by a thug.

IMABANANA:…..

SantosLovin: So fellas, I sent out a group text because, well, Tank and Lula are tying the knot, and we should throw Tank the best bachelor party ever!

IMABANANA: Well, better keep the phone away from Stephanie…once she sees this text, I'm going to get grounded.

BigD: You're lucky, Heidi's going to kick my ass, if she sees this text. Look, Les, we love you like a brother, but we get in trouble when you're involved with anything.

SantosLovin: Come on guys, I'm not that bad! Now you two are going to help me, anyways, I rented out a Hooters for us, nothing but busty women in orange short shorts and little tank tops that can barely keep the ta-ta's in! ;D

BigD:…Now, as much as I like that idea, I get the feeling that it's not only Hooters you've booked.

IMABANANA: Of course it's not the only thing he booked, you got her, didn't you, Santos.

SantosLovin: I sure as hell did! I got Glitter ;)

BigD: Now, I know my strippers and exotic dancers, but who is this Glitter you boost about?

SantosLovin: Glitter is this sexiest exotic dancer on this side of the Mississippi. She has the body of an amazon, long luscious black hair, and bright green eyes that are just fucking sexy as fuck, she can squeeze a watermelon between her thighs like nobody else. Fuck, she fucking turns me on….she can climb up and down a pole like nobody's business, and I got her, for the night, I got fucking Glitter for Tank's bachelor's party!

IMABANANA:….I love my wife, my Babe is everything, but, I wouldn't pass up the chance to see Glitter, count me in, as long as she doesn't do any lap dances with me.

BigD: Count me in as well, this sounds promising, Glitter you say….you know for some odd reason…I've heard that name before. S:,

SantosLovin: Must have heard it in passing at the strip clubs you used to go to, but shit….GLITTER IS DANCING AT TANK'S BACHELOR'S PARTY! 8U WOOT WOOT!

IMABANANA: Well, we'll get together this weekend to go over the plans, alright, and don't let our wives know, Diesel, got it?

BigD: Got it ;D

SantosLovin: I got fucking Glitter! 8E –so excied!-

_~End of Message~_

_SantosLovin sent out a group message to the following recipients: BigD and RICKROLLED_

SantosLovin: WHHHHHHHHHHHY?! Y U NO TELL ME DIESEL?!

BigD:….lol…

RICKROLLED: Diesel, what did I tell your wife?!

BigD: God damn it all, I am so weak, I'm dying! LOL XD

SantosLovin: DIESEEEEEEEEL Y U NO TELL ME THAT GLITTER IS A DRAG QUEEN?!

RICKROLLED:….what?! I got two lap dances from her! Diesel is this true?!

BigD: I'm so weak over here, it's true, Carlos my man, Glitter is a man, it's actually Matt the Suit…Heidi's co-worker.

RICKROLLED:…dear god man…and you let me go through with those dances, was that why Stephanie had no problems with it?

BigD: Yup, our wives were cackling like hyenas when Jeanne told them about the party. Turns out Matt does it on the side for fun and has a woman alter-ego to hide his real identity.

SantosLovin: GAH, I FELT HIS DICK HIT MY CHIN! –DEAD- X_x

RICKROLLED: I guess that's why you didn't get you lapdance from Glitter, Diesel.

BigD: Yup…Oh, Matt told me to tell you Hi, Lester. I think he likes you ;o

RICKROLLED: Oh la, la, it's love….

SantosLovin: GAAAAAAAAAH! ;x;

_~End Message~_

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Please Leave a Review, your feedback is awesome!


	5. Drunk

Chapter 5! Enjoy

Warning: Sexual conversations

Disclaimer in chapter 1

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_Drunk_

_Babe sent a message to the following recipient: LadyH_

Babe: Heidi….go get your husband's phone, he's fucking drunk texting me! The conversation is very awkward!

LadyH: It's just harmless drunk texting, ignore him, he'll give up eventually :3

Babe: Okay, Heidi, whatever you say.

LadyH: I'm just about done with what I'm doing, I'll go upstairs and grab his phone from him, 'kay?

Babe: 'Kay

_~End Message~_

_BigD sent a message to the following recipient: Babe_

BigD: Heidi….Kitten…baby, why you ignoring me?

BigD: I'm sorry about last night, didn't mean to make you cry

BigD: PLEASEEEEEEE DON'T HATE MEH! I'M SOOOOO SORRRRRY!

Babe…what do you mean, you're sorry about last night?

BigD: You know, when we tried to do the XXXX if you know what I mean?

Babe: Uh….I don't…can you refresh my memory, Diesel baby? .w.

BigD: You know, baby, when I tried to stick the BigD up your butt, man you sure did squeal like a pig, I know, I know…should have used lube, but, I was so hooorny and you were so seexxxxy ;) Plus we were out of lube and you wouldn't let me use the cooking oil instead.

Babe:….pure golden information right here….blackmail material for days! B]

BigD: Baby…this bottle of Vodka is nice company but it would better if you were up here with me, come on up here and let's try the XXXX again….;D

Babe: Go to bed, you're drunk man…

BigD: I am not, I'm horny…see, BigD needs some Heidi loving ;3

Babe: EEP! You sent me a pic of 'BigD!' o/o

BigD: I sure did, now…show me the goods, you won't come up here, so send me a pic, I want it all baby! 8D

Babe:…Uh….sure baby…here….

BigD:…I know I'm a bit drunk, Kitten, but I swear to god, you look a lot like Grandma Mazur…at least she's not flashing anyone in this pic.

Babe: Grandma Mazur sent you pics of her breasts!? TMMMMMMMI .x.

BigD: She sure has…..not for the faint of heart…lemme tell you…wait a minute…you're standing right beside me now…without a phone…

Babe:…

BigD: And your name is Babe, that annoying nickname Carlos calls….oh…Hello Stephanie.

Babe: D:( My nickname is annoying huh!? Well, guess what?! That pic of BigD has been forwarded to your wife, I hope the ass kicking you get is quite painful!

BigD: Aw shit, Steph, why did you have to go and do that?! Now She's

Babe:….?!

BigD: Hello Stephanie, it's Heidi, Diesel can't talk to you anymore tonight, due to the fact that he's grounded. I told you to ignore him, but you didn't, and now I'm going to forward this conversation to Carlos, groundage for you too.

Babe: You know what, Heidi, you and Diesel…Ya'll some snakes…I hope you know that…

BigD: Proud of the title sugar, have a good night.

~End Message~

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Please leave a review, your feedback is AWESOME! 8D


	6. Babysitting

_Chapter 6, Enjoy!_

_Warning: Language_

_Disclaimer is in Chapter 1_

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_Babysitting_

_LadyH sent a message to the following recipient: Babe_

LadyH: I spy with my little eye something…..pink

Babe: Belladonna's fist!

LadyH: No way, that's flesh colored!

Babe: There's so many things in here that are pink, gimme a clue, is it a dildo?

LadyH: Nope…it's in the men's section of the shop.

Babe: Ahhh, is it that hot pink penis pump with that Grandma Mazur is thinking about buying?

LadyH: DING DING DING! Yup, man, babysitting your grandma is awesome, we always go to the cool places!

Babe: My mom thinks otherwise, we'd wouldn't be here, if she didn't think that my grandmother need parental guidance.

LadyH: Man, you're grandma is pushing 88, she doesn't need any chaperone. Oh, did you ask her why we were at the Treasure Pleasure?

Babe: She needed to get a….harness for her and Steve.

LadyH: Uh….I don't wanna know, so, are you going to pick up something for you and Carlos? ;O

Babe:No! Why would I?! I think our sex is nice the way it is. Are you going to pick up something, I heard they're having a sale on buttplugs, the ones that stretch you out.

LadyH: Jebus, you're never going to let that one down, I'm going to fucking end Diesel for that comment D;

Babe: So is it true that you and Diesel did the frappe?

LadyH: Da fuck is a frappe? coffee? WTH does that have to do with secks?

Babe: You know…buttsex….

LadyH: You call Anal sex frappe? LOL this must make for an interesting conversation with Carlos. Oh Babe, what do you want to do tonight in between the sheets? Oh I don't know, maybe a Frappe, that might be too much for me, how about we do the green tea…LOL –Is dead- XD

Babe: Shut up, Heidi, shit, I bet the conversations you and Diesel have are even worse. Let's fuck, what can I not do? Oh, nothing's off limit today, baby, I'm feeling froggy today. You two are fucking freaks.

LadyH: Don't hate because our sexual lifestyle is awesome! So, anyways, where in the hell did you come up with that label for anal sex?

Babe: Don't laugh…

LadyH: Can't promise you that I won't….

Babe: My mother, you know her, Heidi, she's a prude! Doesn't like any of that stuff, so she called it different things, and it rubbed off on me.

LadyH:…..LOL, you are your mother, after all, eh?! LOL. Oh shit, I'm too weak, wait until Grandma Mazur hears about this, she thinks you and Carlos have wild monkey sex all the time!

Babe: -sigh- you're such a child…..anyways, back to my question, do you and Diesel do the Frappe?

LadyH: Yes, we do the Frappe, and the Mocha Latte, the Venti, the Grande, The green tea, the Raspberry Zinger and the Sleepy Time Tea! Omg, you are blushing hard over there, what it's perfectly natural to try all kinds of sex, now the kinkiest thing we've tried was when we were in the shower and Diesel-

Babe:PLEASE DON'T TELL ME! TMI!

LadyH: Alright, I won't tell you, fine, but let me tell you, we do it on a regular now ;]

Babe: Ugh…why do I put up with a pervert like you.

LadyH: Because, secretly, you want to do it all too…Oi, heads up, you're grandma is about to buy Belladonna's fist, your mom is going to shit a brick, if she gets that.

Babe: OMG!

_~End Message~_

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Reviews are loved, I love your feeback 8D ~I have no clue what's going on with FFN today, but it's been pissing me off a lot lately,whenever I edit things in Doc Manager, words go missing and whole paragraphs and sentences get mashed together, get it together FFN, or the next story won't be on here...Okay, done ranting now! :3~


	7. Sexting

_Chapter 7, enjoy!  
_

_Warning: Sexting (sex text)_

_Disclaimer in chapter 1_

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_Sexting_

_Ranger sent a message to the following recipient: Babe_

Ranger: Are you busy right now?

Babe: Nope, about to settle in for the night, what about you, how's Rangeman Atlanta?

Ranger: Lonely without my Babe :(

Babe: Aww, I miss you too, baby, you know, I was talking to Heidi the other day about when she and Diesel have to split up for missions, she says they sext each other.

Ranger: Sexting…I like the real thing much better than words.

Babe: Well, it wouldn't hurt to try, besides, I'll add some pics, that way you wouldn't be using just your mind ;]

Ranger…Well, it wouldn't hurt to just try it, okay, Babe, show me what I'm working with.

Babe: Okay…I did buy a few new nighties….

Ranger: Babe….you look hot in that red one piece, dios, is that a nipple a see?

Babe: Mmm, it's all nice and hard for you too Carlos..;] tell me what you want me to do?

Ranger: I want you to slowly slide the straps of that nightie off, painfully slow, tease yourself and imagine it's me, with my lips on your neck. Can you feel my lips, Babe?

Babe: Oh god, Carlos, I can feel them, suck away at my pulse, driving me wild with want, please, Carlos, do something!

Ranger: Mmm, I love it when you beg for it, Babe, are those straps down, is the top of that one piece barely clinging to your breast, dios, you must look a sight, let me see, send me a pic.

Babe: I can hardly keep it together and you want a pic?

Ranger: I do, now show me, Babe, show me how wild you look.

Babe: I'll try…

Ranger: Dios babe, you look so sexy, you're making me hard enough to cut diamonds. Now…slide that sexy piece down, all the way down until you're in nothing but that tiny g-string, and then send me a pic, I want you in a sexy pose.

Babe: Like this? ;o

Ranger: This like that Babe, I want to see it all, damn, now play with those hard nipples, roll them around with your fingers, tug at them and pull them taut, until you're wild with need.

Babe: Don't tell me to do that, I can hardly text as it is!

Ranger: I bet you're soaking wet right now, how I wish I was there, running my fingers over your mound and playing with that hard clit, are you drenched, Babe? Touch yourself and tell me.

Babe: I'm so wet, Carlos, I want your hard cock in me right now, please, I need something, anything!

Ranger: I left you a gift in the side drawer of the bed, Babe…

Babe: Carlos! This is such a huge…you know…

Ranger: Say it, Babe, be dirty, for once.

Babe: It's such a big…..dildo, is it going to fit?

Ranger: It is, you just have to play with yourself to get yourself all ready ;]

Babe: Should I rub it against myself, and slick it up with my juices, or should I suck it like a lollipop in my mouth?

Ranger: Whatever is best for you…though I want pics, I hope they're going to be good…;)

Babe: You're going to like this one ;D

Ranger:….Babe, you're going to be the death of me, I told you that it would fit nicely in you.

Babe: It's nice and snug, oh it's filling me up real nice, oh, I wish it was you, Carlos, pumping in and out of me!

Ranger: Dios, I wish I was in that tight heat of yours, I bet you feel like a vice right, wrapped around that toy, Dios, Babe, I'm going to cum soon. Shit, Babe, it's all over the place.

Babe: Oh, I'm cumming, Carlos, I'm cumming around the toy, oh it feels so good!

Ranger: Babe…you alright there?

Babe…..

Ranger: Babe?

Babe: Remind me to send Heidi and Diesel a gift basket, god bless their dirtiness!

Ranger: Have you seen the other gift too?

Babe:…WTH?! Belladonna's fist?! I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU CARLOS!

_~End Message~_

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_Please leave a review, your feedback is AWESOME! 8D_


	8. Contagion

_Chapter 8, Enjoy!_

_Warning: None_

_Disclaimer in chapter one_

* * *

Contagion

_LadyH sent a text message to the following Recipient: BigD_

LadyH: Your face is white as a sheet of paper….

BigD: Can't help it, Kitten, seeing you in this plastic covered room, and looking so sick, it's all my fault!

LadyH: It's alright, Diesel, it's not your fault you got sick, and I took your mission, okay, it's not.

BigD: ;x; but, you could die! I'm sorry you caught smallpox! Hey…aren't we supposed to get vaccines for that?!

LadyH: I did get one…I guess it didn't work, I'm just concerned about the scabbing and the scars… ono.

BigD: Oh god…when that doctor turned white as a sheet and called the CDC, and they quarantined you, I thought you were turning into a zombie!

LadyH: Note to self, no more World War Z for you ~n~

BigD: Welp, at least the organization prevented your smallpox illness from leaking out, man, that would have caused a ruckus even we couldn't control.

LadyH: Yeah…

BigD: You look tired, sweetie, the doctor said that your fever is quite high, 105, I wish I can go in there and hug you…

LadyH: And hug you via a hazmat suit, no thanks, I think we'll use the phones, Diesel. Where are Stephanie and Carlos.

BigD: Out buying you a bunch of stuff you don't need, since you might be in here for more than 3 months, I told them not to, but you know how much they loooove you…Heidi, what's wrong?

LadyH: M'scared…and tired and I want you, but I can't have you, since I'm contagious and your vaccine might not work if it didn't work for me, Diesel…I don't want to die…"

BigD: Oh baby, don't cry, you know I don't like it when you cry, please…that's it, I'm going in, without a hazmat suit!"

LadyH: Uh…the nurse on duty looks like she's going to tackle you, Diesel…DIESEL DON'T DO IT! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO KNOCK THE NURSE OUT!"

BigD: I'M IN, HERE I AM KITTEN, HERE TO CUDDLE YOU!

LadyH: You sent me that in a text? Why didn't you just tell me!

_~End Message~_

_LadyH sent a message to the following recipient: Babe_

LadyH: Is he out on bail now?

Babe: Yeah…that damned fool, did you know that the Justice Department was planning on pressing charges against that fool, attempted terrorism…thank goodness your doctor is a kind man, got him off with some misdemeanor, the nurse isn't pressing charges. Told us that she dealt with methheads high out of their minds.

LadyH: -sigh- oh goodness, what am I going to do with that man?

Babe: I don't know, but he's been banned from the hospital, I'm now the go between person between you both. Carlos is with him now.

LadyH: Goodness, I'm sorry, Stephanie, I owe you a lot, just don't tell Diesel yet, I'm going to be stuck in the hospital for an additional six weeks, apparently, I contracted a primitive form of the smallpox, they want to make a vaccine for it and they want to use my illness, all for science, yes?

Babe: Oh god, that means Diesel is going to try to break in again…

LadyH: Again?!

Babe: You don't wanna know….it's a long story, Heidi.

LadyH: Well, I have 5 months of downtime, humor me...

_~End Message~_

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_Please leave a message, your feedback is AWESOME! 8D_


	9. Big Brother

_Chapter 9, Enjoy!_

_Warning: Talks of sexual situations and a pervy Lester_

_Disclaimer in chapter 1!_

* * *

_Big Brother_

_SantosLovin sent out a message to the following recipients: Ranger, Catwoman and BigD:_

SantosLovin: Hey guys, look at what I got, something niceeee….owo

Catwoman: Woah…what is this?! Hey Hey….this is porn, Santos, whatcha doing with this, this looks like high class porn!

Ranger: It does look high class, HD, where'd you get this from?

BigD: Hey….yeah…this looks familiar…..

SantosLovin: Well….well…..well…..~w~

Catwoman: Woah! Look at that ass, holy shit, does she have a butt on her! Damn I would love to motorboat it…mmm, chocolate lovin' at its best….and WOAH! OAO those breast….perfect, she must have gotten work done on them

Ranger: Are you trying to get me killed?! Sending me high class porn, Stephanie is like…she's not around but she had ESP, okay, ESP on this kind of stuff and I don't…woah…are those real?

BigD:…..those certainly are real, they're not rounded like implants are, those are fucking perfect, guys, shit, I would love to grope them.

SantosLovin: Mmm, she's giving us a nice show, mmm, I betcha she's bare down there, come on now…bend over, bend over…bend over….JACKPOT! SCOOOOOOORE, SHE'S BARE!

Ranger:…..I give her a 9, only because I have to critique something…woah now, dick alert! Oh..oh…she's about to go down on him, we'll get to see a face, this must be a model.

BigD: She is such a filthy talker, fuck…..man, I'm getting hard just from her dirty talk, this is extremely well acted!

Cawoman: Please, be sexy, please be sexy, please be sexy, please be BINGO she's fucking hot, she's a knockout, she's-

BigD: WTF….That's my room, that's me, and that bombshell is my fucking wife! SANTOS! WTF?! HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU RECORD US?!

Santos: Well….I was testing out some new camera equipment, and I decided to put it in you guys' room, I was going to take it out, but damn….you came in with Heidi and got busy and this is the result. Man, that camera resolution, is awesome man, Heidi is fucking drench, you know, since you're going to put me in the hospital, let me tell you…I masturbated to this 20 times, this is much better than porn, I love it, I have a copy, but it's hidden somewhere.

BigD: You….you….son of a bitch, I'm going to fucking end you! Do you hear me; I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!

Ranger: Ah…..I knew that voice was familiar, well, can't help but say it is nicely recorded, I'll have to look deeper into that camera company, nice work Santos…

Catwoman: Man, Heidi is a fucking wildcat! Can I get a copy of that video? Is there going to be some Frappe in here?

Ranger:….Frappe…did you talk to Heidi about the conversation she and Stephanie had at the Pleasure Treasure?

Catwoman: Your wife is a fucking prude…..Diesel….Diesel….Santos…

BigD: Who in the hell sent my husband porn without sending me the damn link?!

Catwoman: Hey Heidi, wanna know the title? It's called; Heidi Does Diesel, with Anal action! Santos recorded you two having sex…

BigD: Ah….so that's why he left in a rush, he was making such a ruckus, I had to see what's going…DAMN! I have such a naughty mouth, Diesel likes it when I tell him that I want it all over my face, if you know what I mean ;D

Ranger: tmi….

Catwoman: Continue Heidi, I…need some information….B]

BigD: Oh ho...lemme tell you, Jeanne, come on over, we'll have a nice conversation!

Ranger: Good god….and since Santos is not responding, that means he's getting his ass kicked….

SantosLoving: This ass kicking I'm getting is worth the recording! I mad-ouch….;X;

_~End Message~_

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_Please leave a review, your feedback is AWESOME! 8D_


	10. Hitched

_Chapter 10, Enjoy!_

_Warning: None at the moment_

_Disclaimer in chapter 1_

_A/N: Welp, three updates in one day! Why? Because something else is getting updated this weekend can't tell you what...it's a surprise 8D  
_

* * *

_Hitched_

_Crazygrandma sent a message to the following Recipients: Babe, LadyH, Tankieluvr, and Catwoman._

Crazygrandma: Oh ladies….I need to talk to all of you! I'm getting married!

Babe:….

LadyH: .n.

Tankieluvr: Uh….

Catwoman: CONGRATUALTIONS GRANDMA MAZUR 8D WHEN'S THE WEDDING?!

Babe: Oh boy…~n~

Crazygrandma: Hmm, in about 2 hours! Steve and I are going to Atlantic City, and I need you all as Bridemaids, plus, we need a ride.

Tankieluvr: Well, I'm gamed, any trip to Atlantic city is a welcomed thing! Let's get you hitched Grandma!

Babe: Heidi….Heidi..be the voice of reason here! They're just going to ignore me and call me my mother!

LadyH:….Me?! Voice of reason?! Never, CONGRATULATIONS GRANDMA MAZUR, I'LL HAVE TO GET YOU A WEDDING GIFT!

Babe: Wait! Now, if you do this, I'll call mom and she'll stop you, Grandma Mazur.

Grandma: Aw what can she do, I'm moving in with Steve, who cares about your stuffy mother!

Cawoman: Yeah! I stole the keys to one of Ranger's SUVs, ROADTRIP!

Tankieluvr: And I got Tank's credit card, we'll stay over night and gamble!

LadyH: And I'm rich and famous! Let's go to Chinatown!

Grandma Mazur: Then it's settled, let's go to Atlantic City!

Babe: Wait…wait…hold on now, we can't do this, I mean…I ought to go talk to Carlos about this…

Catwoman: Plum, you better shut the fuck up, pack an overnight bag, and be ready to leave in about 10 minutes, got it?!

Babe:….got it…. .n.

Catwoman: Good girl, now let's get ready to go, ATALNTIC CITY HERE WE COME!

_~End Message~_

_Ranger sent a message to the following recipient: BigD_

Ranger…uh…you might want to sit down for this one, dude.

BigD: I'm sitting, now what?

Ranger: I got a call from Tank, apparently, the girls went to Atlantic City so Grandma Mazur could marry Steve.

BigD: This sounds like I need a strong drink, nothing good comes from the following people; Jeanne, Lester, Heidi and Grandma Mazur, and three out of the four people are in one group, well ,lay it down for me, dude.

Ranger: Well…uh….um….they're in jail, in Atlantic City, apparently, A guy tried to cop a feel off of Heidi, and Lula tased him, and then another guy jumped Lula and then Jeanne jumped them, and then Grandma Mazur took a gun out, and Steve nearly had a heart attack and Heidi tripped into Grandma Mazur and the gun fired off and the Stephanie with her luck jumped back and knocked into a cop and made him fall and he knocked himself out…I hope you understand that, right?

BigD:….Well, I'm not surprised, let's get the hell up to Atlantic City, maybe I can blow some money before we bail them out.

Ranger: Oh boy, I hope the Organization doesn't get wind of this, Heidi has two strikes, one more strike and she's on desk duty for a year.

BigD: Well….shit, I've had worse punishments, like cleaning duties, and or, being the test dummy for the newbies….oi vey…

Ranger: Oi vey is right, and they talk about grounding us, groundage for them too

_~End Message~_

_Babe sent a message to the following recipient: Lady H_

Babe: This is would have never happened if you all had listened to me, now we're all on punishment!

LadyH: Not Jeanne…she's not on punishment.

Babe: Well, Lester is watching her, so technically, she is on punishment!

LadyH: Whatever, that's not punishment! She's fucking that man! I hope you know that, Stephanie…Jeanne and Lester are fuuuuuckkkking!

Babe: I don't wanna know that…hold on, I'm getting a call from Grandma Mazur.

LAdyH: What did she say?

Babe: Oh god…we're all going to jail, Grandma Mazur told me that she and Steve are going on their honeymoon to Aruba, and she wants all of us to go with them! All of us meaning; Jeanne, you, me and Lula…apparently, we were a hit with Steve and he wants us to go with them, oh boy…Heidi…what's with the crazy texting!

LadyH: nonosvoesgswge;iognrs;grdnro; 8D!8D!8D! WOOOHOOOO FRREEEEE TRIIIP! Hurry up and pack, Stephanie we have jails to break out of, and planes to catch! 8D

Babe: Uh….oh…why do I even bother, I'll be ready in a minute..

_~End Message~_

_BigD Sent a Message to the following Recipient: Ranger_

BigD: Uh…you might want to-

Ranger: Don't worry, already got the news, they're all detained in Customs, apparently, Steve brought back illegal male enhancements.

BigD: Oi Vey…

_~End Message~_

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_Please leave a review, your feedback is AWESOME! 8D_


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